Coaching as a Process. Facilitated Thinking Process.

Every day I see that the term “Coach” is widely used, yet the meaning still remains a question mark for many. Most often, people from the helping profession are turning to the dictionary and finding the meaning “trainer” or “mentor” call themselves as Coaches. Well, after all it is a trendy word…

I got familiar with Coaching back in 2016, when I was a Managing Director, had a great career and bright perspectives, but had a feeling that I’m capable of something bigger than that, my self-realization was asking to create, rather than execute, and all these led me to the pretty reasonable question – “Why am I doing what I’m doing?”. I was seriously thinking of resignation and starting my own work, something at the edge of management and psychology. However, I didn’t have a clarity on what it was going to be.

Till my 30’s I was trying to do everything by myself. As I progressed with my career, I learned how to ask and accept help, how to trust and delegate, stopped trying to be “the smartest in the room” and seek for professional support. So, back then in 2016, I have realized, that I needed to find a specialist, who could help me to figure out my decision and I started to think who it might be.

A Psychologist? Up to my knowledge, they work with the past, often with traumas. My question though is about the future. And anyway, it didn’t match in my head, what psychologist might tell me about my business.

A Consultant? Which one? Consultants usually are the experts in their field, but what does he know about me?

Maybe, a Trainer? Well, I love trainings and have attended many of them. But here is the question – what to study? Whom to look for?

At that period of reflection, I got a recommendation on a Coach – specialist, who understands how our brain works, what role emotions play, how to take out from the head all the answers we have. He doesn’t advise, doesn’t teach and doesn’t heal, but does facilitate and direct thinking, helps to look at the situation from various angles, to be more conscious and self-aware, taking out from inside real desires and limiting beliefs. And the most important, looks forward.

Indeed, Coaching is a technology. Clear, pragmatic and focused on the results. Yet, it doesn’t make it shallow, as some psychologists claim. Coaching works at the level of values, self-identification and even mission, if someone is ready for such a kind of depth.

If we look from aside, Coaching looks like a weird conversation, whereas one participant is only asking questions and the other only provides answers. The aim of these questions is to turn the Client towards himself, his real values and capabilities, to believe in himself, find his own answers. Eventually, who, if not the Client himself, knows best his own life!

Coaching is suitable for mature personalities, who are not looking for a ready-made answer or the opportunity to transfer the responsibility, but want to lead their own lives, direct it according to the inner desires and the reality. It is an enormous work, as many of us have vast potentials, but also large amount of limiting beliefs.

There is no drama in Coaching. We are not trying to fix the childhood for the happy one, we concentrate on building happy present & future. We don’t work with traumas, that’s the field of psychologists and psychotherapists. To be fair, truly traumatic experiences in a corporate and business environment, where I work, are extremely rare.

Coaching works with Clients’ strengths, and this is how the Client learns how to rely on himself, his self-esteem is growing, and more opportunities are becoming available. If we speak metaphor language, just imagine in your inner eyes a person with the huge backpack, walking within the fenced yard. Very often, he doesn’t leave the yard for the exciting journey with the name “Life” just because he doesn’t know, that he has everything he needs, so that this journey becomes real.

Therefore, if someone gives You advises, analyses your past, tries to find the weak point and dig there, pitches how to live or reading a lecture – it might me something else, but Coaching.

And this is how we come to the quality of Coaching. Choosing a Coach, please don’t hesitate to ask about their accreditation.

Professional Coaches are learning years, earn practice hours, take oral and written assessments at the independent organizations, and work with mentors BEFORE getting certified. Therefore, it would be a pleasure for them to answer your question and show the achievements.

Yet, if the “Coach” has only “Certificate of attending Coaching Training” with the length of 32 hours – think twice, which hands are you giving your head, as Coaching is Facilitated Thinking process.

Your Executive & Leadership Coach,
Julia Stavrou

About the Author :