How to… order Mr Right!  

Lead: It’s extremely important to have a fairly good idea of the kind of person we want our perfect match to be—otherwise, this person will never come!

You enter your favorite coffee shop. The barista asks you what you would like, and you answer “coffee.” The barista looks puzzled because coffee isn’t really a sufficient answer. He asks you more questions: “What kind of coffee? Espresso, latte, macchiato, cappuccino, decaf, filter coffee? What size? Tall, grande, venti? Hot or iced? For here or to go?”

The numerous questions only confuse you, and you just say, “Any coffee is fine.”

The barista ends up giving you hot coffee in a mug, despite the fact that it’s ninety degrees out and because you’re doing some shopping, you would’ve preferred to have it to go. Also, the coffee is unsweetened, and you would’ve preferred one with syrup.

When we ask God or a higher power to bring our perfect match into our life, we get picky. We think this person won’t be polite, beautiful, or smart enough. This simply means we’ve placed the wrong order!

Your list of the characteristics of your perfect match is the most important step. It helps you to define and redefine what is really important for you as a person. It helps you overcome future problems and drama. It helps you figure out what’s really important for you, not for your parents or your friends. It helps you determine whether, at the end of your dating detox, the person in front of you is actually your perfect match or not.

Let’s create your list together, based on the following method.

In your diary, write down the names of your ex-partners. Next to each name, write three things you liked best about each one of them. For example, “John was funny and made me laugh, we had great sex, and he supported me in my professional life”; “Anna had a great body, we had fun diving together, and she was a great cook.”

Perfect! After you’ve written all the best characteristics of your ex partners, you can come up with some common characteristics they all share. Now write down the following three columns:

Physical characteristics

Character

Lifestyle

For example:

Physical characteristics    Character           Lifestyle

More than 6 feet tall          Funny              Wants to have kids

Well-built                     Communicative     Likes traveling

Blonde                               Social              Likes good restaurants

Big eyes                           Patient              Works in Greece

Now close your eyes and picture your perfect match. Be specific and clear. Would you ask the barista, “Would it taste good if I ordered decaf coffee with an extra shot of almond syrup?” He would probably think you’re a very strange person! Give your all in creating this list. Enlarge each of the three lists above; write more than five characteristics for each one of them.

Do you want your perfect match to be tall, with a great body, well-intentioned, and rich? Make a note about all of these characteristics. Then make a note next to each column of the two characteristics that are absolutely necessary for your perfect match to have. If these don’t exist in the person you are thinking of starting a relationship with, you’ll never be happy. It’s not an easy process, but it’s absolutely necessary to end up with the six characteristics that are your absolute Must Haves.

For example:

Physical characteristics        Character            Lifestyle

More than 6 feet tall              Funny                Wants kids

Well-built                          Communicative     Likes traveling

As soon as you’re done with your dating detox, you’ll go through this list, which will be your guide for who you start dating. If your date doesn’t have one of these characteristics, don’t go out with him/her.

If it’s very important for you to have kids, and your best friend’s single coworker doesn’t want kids, then don’t go out with him. A common mistake women make is thinking it’s easy to change the characteristics, needs and wants of the other person. Yes, he didn’t want to have kids with his previous partners, but he’s going to change his mind with me.

This is a huge mistake; you’re not going to change him! The only person who can change his mind is him, and nobody else! Don’t waste your time with people who have different needs and wants than you. Neither of you deserves to go through such an ordeal.

You’ve just created your list of the top ten characteristics for each column. Now you have to write your top six characteristics on beautiful cardstock the size of a business card. Make as many copies as you made of your intentions card.

Place copies of both cards all over your home. They will serve as reminders of the great relationship you’re going to start with your perfect match very soon!

 

JILL DOUKA, MBA, PCC
#1 International Bestselling Author of Create Love and How to Create Your Life
Business Mentor Awarded by European Union and accredited by Coach Federation
Global Academy of Coaching Director

 

Would you like to see how life coaching can support you to take your life to the next level? Visit www.jillandnikolas.com and www.jilldouka.com. Are you confident? Do the quiz and find out! https://www.globalacademyofcoaching.org/

 

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